The New Sun

A short story I just now named "New Sun"

Aaand here we go, wish me good luck Smile

Crap.. I hate this.. My story is too long for one post

The New Sun

Tired of peoples stupidity, tired of work, tired of always getting bossed around and always have to stick up with it. Joseph decided to leave the big city for a while, he quit his job.. Seeking refuge far from society, In a mountain chain not too far from LA. Here his father had a cabin which was granted him after his father’s death. At the start of the week he prepared for the trip, bringing everything he could muster from his little apartment. He had no interest of returning to his job and this poor sight of an apartment again. He sold his apartment; figuring out that he got enough to start over again after his break far from the busy city life. He loaded everything he thought he would need in his father’s van.
Then the trip began towards his self-imposed salvation. Finally he could be the boss of himself; he could do things the ways he wanted, without anyone saying otherwise, resulting in a dire wish to just break their jaws. The trip took about twelve hours; still he had four hours ahead of him with a belt truck, which was often used in the winter, to get through the wood which was the only way getting to the cabin, except to walk for a double amount of time. He also had luggage with him that was supposed to last a couple of months.
Finally he arrived the last store which he could buy what he needed on the way, here the belt truck where stationed as well. He parked the car, refitting the luggage to the belt truck. And went in to the little store, there he bumped into a childhood friend, Suzanne, which was on her way down from trip herself, they talked for a while just to be polite. Then they bad each other farewell and Joseph could buy whatever he needed for the trip. “That’ll be 478.50” the old man behind the counter said. He suddenly woke up, as if he had been walking around in sleep, fumbling after his wallet and paid the man. As he walked out the door he said to himself “people”.
After preparing the belt truck the second face of the journey began. He drove through the valley from the small shop leading to the valley next to the cabin, along the way he felt joy, an unbelievable sensation of happiness driving through him, the nature, and the wilderness… The thought, that soon he will be alone, for the first time there will be nobody to disturb him in months. The beauty of nature struck him again and again. It was almost like his unconsciousness called out to the surroundings. Telling him “this is the right thing to do” – “this is where you belong”. He was glad that he would be alone, yet the thought of not being able to talk with anyone for months, except maybe someone taking a pike through the mountains was a bit frightening. He cast away that thought almost before it popped up, as he saw it, this was something he really wanted to do, and such thoughts lead to doubt, and doubt leads to failure.
It was completely dark when he arrived, the night sky clear as a crystal orb, the stars shone as beacons of freedom. He felt the wind slightly from the North, with it the smell of the lake about 500 feet away. The smell of nature and the chilly breeze was something he had longed for, for a long time… Too long he thought. After unpacking the most essential he went outside to behold the night again. He saw the moon slightly revealing itself over the hill rising from behind the cabin; he heard the distant cries of wolves. Finally he had found the peace which he had been searching for a long time. He went inside taking a deep breath to feel the old sensation of the cabin which was almost a century old, the smell of old was soothing. He lit the fire place, found some food and sat down in front of the fire. He sat there staring at the flames and listening to the crackle of the flames and the movement of old wood. Outside were only the sounds of the wind. He fell asleep there in the old chair with a smile on his face.

The next day was mostly spent on unpacking and preparing the place for a long stay. After a good while the truck started to empty, and the living room was a mess, luggage everywhere “oh god “he thought. After carrying most of the cloths to the second floor in one of the three bedrooms, he started putting it in drawers, in one of the drawers there was a picture of him, his brother and father sitting outside on the porch, all with a big smile. This brought memories of times of joy without concern. It was a bittersweet feeling growing to a clump in his throat. ”you are gone now… I must live with that” he told himself taking another look at his father in the picture. He keeps staring at the picture with a sad look. After a while he decided to take a break from all the unpacking. He brought the picture with him downstairs, placing it on the table next to the fire place. Then he went to unpack the food. His stomach was rumbling. It was already dusk, he brought the food on the porch, there he sat eating while enjoying the wet smell of the forest and the clear mountain air
A few days later a little wandering in the surroundings was a proper way to use the seemingly endless amount of time. The place most visited was a hill behind the cabin where he used much time admiring the view of the valley, the place almost felt spiritually, he really felt he could get In touch with the self, and getting in tune with his emotions. The peace within him grew from day to day, and this solitude existence was not a problem, yet the longing for sociality was greater from time to time.
Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months.

- One night there was a knock on the door, the sound of the knocking made Joseph shiver. “What the hell?” He thought, like he had forgotten how knocking sounded like. Then he almost started to laugh at his own reaction, and ran to the door. The sight that greeted him on the porch was a tall Girl, in a rather formal dress with a corset underneath; the dress also had a hood, strangely enough. The clothes looked out worn. The shadow of the cape covered the girl’s eyes, and most of her long black hair. Joseph was more or less stricken by the sight; it looked like she had been walking around the woods for a long time. He also felt an uneasy sensation almost like he was not comfortable anymore, like the peace he had felt the two last months had disappeared in a blink of an eye. Suddenly he noticed he had been standing there for a considerable time just staring at the stranger not saying anything. -Hi there. The stranger said with a calm and joyful voice. Joseph still paralyzed by the fact that he actually met anyone out here, out on the porch in front of his door, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere used several more seconds before he manages to stubble out -He-(clears throat) – Hello? The girl grins and pushes back her hood, letting her hair fall down. She is cute, was the first thing that came across Josephs mind.
-“Everything ok?” she asked.
-“Yeah.. Yeah, I just did not expect to see anyone here… ‘tis late”.
-“Me neither." She said with a smile.
-“What are you doing around here? You lost? You must have been out for hours, the nearest road is a eight hour walk”
-“No, I’m not lost, I’ve been around here a while and noticed there where someone here.”
-“Ah, ok… Uhm, so you just…?”
-“Came by to say hello. She said before Jospeh got to say anything else.”
-“Ah, Right… Sorry. Come on in.”
Joseph walks in with her, closing the door after her, and watches her. She looks around, looks like she likes the interior of the cabin. After a few moments she turns toward Joseph and asks.
-“This is your place, I presume?”
Beckett answers with a monotone – “Now it is.”
She eyes him a moment and say – “It is nice… I have only seen it from the outside. We thought it was not in use until we saw lights a while ago.”
-“We?” Jospeh asks, while his unconsciousness is drawing pictures of serial killers and other guys up to no good. He swallows to force those thoughts out of his mind.
-“Yeah, I and a group are staying on the other side of the valley, towards the north” she says In a way that makes it sounds self explanatory, like he did not have to ask.
-“Oh, I did not know there where settlements there? Recent happenings I guess?” Joseph said
-“Right” she says short, while taking another brief look around the room they are in.
-“No one have been using this place for years until now.. I got tired of the city life and thought of this as an excellent place to forget everything I don’t like.”
“Like ways” she said with a calm almost content voice. They talked a while, and Joseph calmed down, and was yet again at peace even with this stranger.
She returned a few nights later, just to chip` chat, It seemed like she enjoyed Josephs company, so did he hers. Weeks passed and the two got to know each other better. Joseph learned that she had been working for a rich man somewhere and things did not go so well, and after a while she felt she needed to get away, she retreated to the wilderness with some friends which occasionally visits her. A bit weird he thought, a cute girl, can’t be more than 25 tops, why would she want to stay this far out…? But then again, so was he, for his reasons. She was scarce when talking about her friends. Yet she had so much to talk about, it was like she had been away from society for many years, which to Joseph was odd, since she did not seem any older than him.
Due to an area rich of water, thereby fish, and other animals, food was no problem, Joseph had been up in the mountains for three months now, and he did not need to get back to civilization for at least another month, which suited him fine. The past month, he got to know this girl which he had become very fond of, she came and went, and one really never knew when to expect her visit. One week she was over at Joseph’s place soon after every dusk, and suddenly she was not. He did not want to risk not meeting her. There was something about her that made him enthralled, she was majestic, wise, had an eccentric form of humor and very pretty. Still there was also something he could not comprehend something amiss. There was small hints, things she did, the way she where that was just not normal.

Joseph had not seen the not so stranger for over a month, he had waited as long as he could, his rations was at an end, he had no choice but to head back for supplies. The waiting, for her to come back had made the solitude, the whole” be alone” thing unbarring. For the first time he really understood the need for company. He had packed and was ready to leave at mid-day, yet he waited, in the hopes that somehow she would return, that nothing had happened to her, he was not sure but… What he felt towards this girl reminded awfully a lot like some sort of a yearning, a lust… was he falling for this mysterious girl?
It was dark, by far later than she used to come for a visit. Beckett started the truck, not before long he was on his way back to life. After about two hours drive he heard sounds, almost like a roar, then more of them. “Wolves” he thought even though it did not sound like any wolves he ever heard. A chill of fear ran down his spine. He was alert, keeping a closer look on the surroundings. After a while he saw a light maybe 40 – 60 feet away, in front of the truck between the trees. He slowed the pace, and drew towards the place he saw the vague flash of light, there he sees three bodies. He sits silent, fear struck in the truck, looking out all the windows, to make sure there is no one around. A few feet past the bodies there are two marks on the ground, it is more black to the gray ground, to the left he saw two more. Thoughts collided in his mind; he just sat there trying to make out what it was he saw. He turned the engine off, with it the lights. He tries to see in the dark, tries to understand what he sees.. . It’s too damn dark. He decides to go out. He opens the door carefully. The door of the old belt truck makes some serious squeaking noises; He swears to himself and the door and decides not to shut it. He looks around, listening. Deathly silent. He moves closer to the bodies. Yes, three, two male and one female, mid forties is what he can make out in the dark, he moves even closer, checking for vital signs. Dead. He looks around again, listening, just as silent as before. He notices the four black spots around the bodies again, he draws nearer, crouches down to figure what it is. As he moves closer he notices it is coal. Coal in a human shape, more or less like the toilet signs. Some have burnt cloth in the edges. He hears movement, right behind him. A big “thud” and a chill creeping down his spine. His head hurts and he falls to the ground seeing a hooded figure vaguely in the midst of all the shadows before darkness consumes him.

- Almost like a bell ringing, the head really hurts; the thought of opening his eyelids is pain. Instead he decides not to do anything. He tries to connect with what happened. He’s lying comfortable, in a bed for sure. There are candles burning, a dim light. The smell, ah, the smell of the cabin, not to be mistaken. He hears steps. Steps moving closer to the bed. He holds his breath, in the hopes that no one knows he is awake. He tries to concentrate on hearing, he hears a sigh, and as a reaction, for he want to know who is in the room with him, he opens his eyes. There the girl stands, blood stained, and this time the cloak down in her face so much, it’s covering even her eyes. She stands there for a few moments before sitting down on the chair by the bed. She turns her head Joseph’s way just like she can see through the cloak. And she asks without moving her lips much, in fact only opening her mouth so much that the sound can come out correctly.
-“What where you doing out there?”
Joseph does not answer; he’s just staring at her almost closed moth and her paleness, which seems more pale than usual.
-“WHAT, where you doing there?” she said with a more harsh voice
Joseph turns his head away so that he can see her only in the corner of the eye and say in a very low voice
-“heading back”
-“Heading back eh? What did you see… what happened?” She hurried.
Joseph thinks for a while, and said
-“Some dead guys, ash, surrealistic, I don’t know what happened. I have a feeling you do…”He spits out in a snappy tone, just as he remembered the caped figure knocking him unconscious.
-“let’s say I do, what of it?”
-“what of it? Care to explain what happened? Why are there lying three dead guys out in the forest, and why so much ash. It is almost like there really is 7 bodies, only four of them incinerated…!”

She smiles, revealing four pointy fangs in her grin upper jaw.. The canines, they are longer than normal, so too is the set of teeth behind them. Knowing Joseph can’t see them in that position.
-“What if I told you there was someone been hunted out there. What would you make of that?”
-“What?!… I do not know. What I do know is: There would be no one drooling after my ass.”
-“haha, yeah. That is probably true”
-“What is your story then?” Joseph asks
-“I doubt you want to know… I’d rather spare you from it anyway. But seeing how you came to be a part of this, things became complicated”
-“a part of what?” Joseph asks calmly.
A long pause follows, Joseph turns towards the girl, rising to a sitting position, grabs the back of his head to check the place he got hit. -“Nice hit”- he mumbled.
The girl looks down like she is embarrassed, -“sorry about that” she mumbles back. Joseph looks up more intensely at the girl, and the words just slips out of his mouth: -“ Here I meet the most interesting girl I could imagine, I think I have fallen for her even, and she knocks me unconscious….” The girl looks back up unable to hold back the inevitable smile, thereby revealing her fangs. Joseph becomes silent, the girl still smiles as if she have forgotten why she kept her mouth shut a few moments ago, then she suddenly get a serious face as if she just realized what she just did. Joseph feels a shiver of fear, it is as she can feel what he feels. She said, -“Don’t worry, it will be over soon…” She moves her cloak back and fiery red eyes is revealed. Joseph is frozen, his thoughts is on a frenzied journey. He know he should be afraid, but it is as he feels calm by thinking of this girl he have bonded with the last months, All the nights they have talked, they had such a great time, his thoughts runs freely as he sees every night with this girl, the pale skin, her slick movement, it is as his thoughts is not his, but hers, and with it the truth about what happened there out in the woods, what she is. And what she wants with him. In the visions evoked by her, he sees chaos, hunger, despair, yet he feel peace, inner peace somehow, among inner darkness, among inner beasts. It is as he accepts what she is telling him, She want him as he is, she want him to be like her, to be with her. As is also his desires, she rises from the chair, bending over him, kissing him softly. A cold kiss, as if it a gust of wind on a wet body. She kisses his neck, biting. He feels a sting, then happiness, lust and desire overlaps the pain he felt. He is in a trance, barely able to figure out what happens, after a while he feels weak, yet content. She rises again, he tries to follow her movement, but he cannot, he is too weak. He tries to raise his hand as a cry for help. She grabs his arm, kissing it. Then offering her own arm, cuts the artery open with a nail looking much like a claw. Blood pours out, she raises her hand to his mouth. He feels the blood inside his mouth, he tries to spit it out, but he is too weak, he feels the blood pouring down his throat, then darkness consumed him yet again.

Some time passed,. The girl left him alone with the knowledge he got from the visions. He where to heed them, and cast away the old and prepare for the new.
Joseph sat in front of the fireplace watching the fire, trying to understand the fear he felt for it, trying to overcome it. Trying to suppress the undying hunger he felt. There were three knocks on the door, in came the girl. She walked silently towards the back of Joseph, touching his shoulder, lying her hand down on him as a confirmation that he is on a good way to master his fear, and control the hunger that he does not understand yet. –“it’s time” she said calmly backing away. Joseph rises, taking up the old shotgun over the fireplace. Looks at it, reaches after the shells in the shelf, putting them in his pocket. He looks at the girl who is on her way out to the porch. They stop just outside, on the porch. Joseph looking back into the cabin, looks up on the girls face. She nods understandingly at him, and said –“it’s time”. They walk away with the door open. The stars shone bright; the moon is full, casting light upon the trees and ground. This is Joseph’s new sun.

Well, first of all, I am really sorry it took me this long to read all of that, but...well, I'm not going to give any excuses, I was just too lazy to read it until now.
I am going to comment on each post now. The first one gave a good feel. I felt I could connect with the guy, as I sometimes want to do what he did. And that about him 'waking up' when he was supposed to pay intruiged me. It may be nothing, but to me it sounded like a hint towards something more sinister that has been done to him.
I'm going to read the second post now.
okay, now I've read the second post.
Interesting, very tense feeling left by that, which is good, as I'm sure that was what you were aiming for. The 'cute, majestic, wise' girl seems awful lot like a Gangrel to me, a old one who has kept her blood potency low enough that she can still drink from animals. But that is just speculation at this point.
Okay, I'll read on now.
okay, I was right apparently. Well, at least with the vampire part, if she is Gangrel or not doesn't matter.
It was a nice story, a love story between mortal and vampire turned into an undying love story between vamp and vamp.
almost like Charles and Stella, eh?
I liked it. You built up the mood well and safe for a few misspellings, your grammar was good as well.
Good work man, thumbs up!

Woohooo! A reply!!!!! I'm so glaaaaad

Aye, the tension and the mood was all what I was hoping to arouse in the reader. And thanks for all the kind words. My spelling ain't too good unfortunately, and I think there was a lot of swapping from past tense to other tenses or whatever. I'm down with the sickness after all

Oooh, I just spotted one misspelling as I scrolled downwards. "Moth" instead of "mouth" HAhaha, that'd make for a pretty face... NOT!

And yes. Gangrel she is You got a keen eye for these things

thank you, but it was kind of obvious. Only a Gangrel can survive safely in the wilderness, as only Gangrel, mostly, can use Haven of soil. Just from that simple fact, i thought she was a Gangrel.
Also, she cut her hand with a claw like finger.
Enough said.

Indeed

I liked it, it were descriptive and had a flow trough the whole story. the character were not empty consept shells and gave the story a feeling which felt plausible. only thing that confused me is the one sentence you call joseph nick

Quote :

-“Came by to say hello. She said before Nick got to say anything else.”

might just be missing something essential

Nemonomicon wrote:

I liked it, it were descriptive and had a flow trough the whole story. the character were not empty consept shells and gave the story a feeling which felt plausible. only thing that confused me is the one sentence you call joseph nick

Quote :

-“Came by to say hello. She said before Nick got to say anything else.”

might just be missing something essential

Hahahaha. Guess I busted my balls whilst translating, it was once written in Norwegian. And In the early stages of the story it was to be the story of Nick, but the guy was already used, written about and given a name.

Boehlke wrote:

Nemonomicon wrote:

I liked it, it were descriptive and had a flow trough the whole story. the character were not empty consept shells and gave the story a feeling which felt plausible. only thing that confused me is the one sentence you call joseph nick

Quote :

-“Came by to say hello. She said before Nick got to say anything else.”

might just be missing something essential

Hahahaha. Guess I busted my balls whilst translating, it was once written in Norwegian. And In the early stages of the story it was to be the story of Nick, but the guy was already used, written about and given a name.

My sharp eye penetrates all! that sort of things happens often while translating ting.

Quote :

My sharp eye penetrates all! that sort of things happens often while translating ting.

Yeah, by a quick glance I noticed even more errors. I fear the whole text is littered. I swear I looked it through several times before posting. Guess I stared myself blind.