Allright. Some of you might have heard me mentioning something called The Chronicles of Michelle. I'll post the first page of it here. The reason I want ya to read this funny story of gaming, is because it really shows how not to act as a player, and it definitively shows how not to act as a ST. At the bottom of the page I put a link to the site where the whole story is.
Believe me, it's worth the read, I laughed so hard.
Also, have in mind that the game they played was VTM:B (Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines) aka the Old-World of Darkness. Not Requiem that we play. (The Old-world of darkness ended with doomsday).
Ok, let's start:
Michelle: It wasnt anything like the books you know I mean they only gave Louis side of things, in the other books, you actually see Lestats side of things.
Me: Uh-huh.
Michelle: I thought Antonio Benderas was really cool too, wouldnt you say?
Me: Uh-huh.
Michelle: Hey! Do you still play that vampire game?
Me: Uh-huh.
Michelle: I wouldnt mind trying it out.
Me: Uh, Its nothing like Anne Rice. Its an RPG plain and simple. Even the vampire mythos differs from Anne Rices version of the vampire.
Michelle: Well I wouldnt mind trying it out. That is, if you don't mind.
Me: Yeah sure, come by on Friday, and well try and create a character for you.
*Fast forward to Friday*
Michelle: I want to play a character that deals in secrets.
Me: The Nosferatu are known to be masters at that. They are pretty neat. Here. (hands over the main V:tM book) Their description is here.
Michelle: EWWWWW! They are gross! I dont want to be ugly.
Me: Well, that is their weakness, each clan has a weakness.
Michelle: But I dont want to be ugly! I want to be pretty, you know, like a seductress.
Me: Well, the important thing here, is to come up with a character concept and then choose a clan that would be best suited to that concept. Just keep in mind that I only allow characters from the Camarilla sect. That is, you are limited to choosing from the Brujah, Malakavian, Gangrel, Nosferatu, Toreador, Tremere and Ventrue. I impose this restriction because my games center on the Camarilla.
(several days later)
Michelle: Okay Marc, I've decided on a clan. Tee hee, I am so excited!
Me: Okay, lets hear it.
Michelle: I want to be a Ravnos.
Me: Ravnos? Uh, the Ravnos are not one of the clans I've allowed. Besides, I only gave you the main book to look through. How did you find out about the Ravnos?
Michelle: Oh, I was too busy to read the book, so I called up my friend. We chatted on the phone for three hours and she told me all about the WoD, the clans and everything, and when she talked about the Ravnos I said to myself Well that's the clan I want to play.
Me: Well, I am terribly sorry, but the Ravnos are an independent clan. They are not Camarilla. You have to choose a member of the Camarilla because my stories are centered around Camarilla politics and intrigue.
Michelle: But I want to play a character that steals stuff.
Me: I thought you said that you wanted to be a character that deals in secrets?
Michelle: Well yeah but, the Ravnos seem cool, plus I really like Chemistry.
Me: Urmits pronounced CHI-mers-try. Its not CHE-mis-try.
Michelle: Oh, I was wondering why it was called Chemistry. I hated that course in high school. Oh well, if I cant play a Ravnos, can I play a Salubri then?
Me: No Michelle. Here. Let me go through the list of clans again
(Much later again)
Michelle: Hey Marc, Youll be happy to know, that Ive decided on a clan. I want to play a sneaky Tremere.
Me: A Tremere?
Michelle: Not just a Tremere, a SNEAKY Tremere.
Me: Thats an oxymoron you know
Michelle: A what?
Me: Never mind. Okay, lets see your character sheet. (I look it over it for a couple of minutes)
Me: Okay, there are just a couple of things here that I want to ask you about. You gave yourself three merits, but no flaws. I require all my players to have an equal spread between Merits and flaws. Its not a big deal. However, you also took the Merit unbondable, may I ask why?
Michelle: I didnt like the Tremere weakness.
Me: Well, okay, but I still need a reason as to why your character specifically has that Merit.
Michelle: I dont understand.
Me: Merits and Flaws are supposed to add color to your character. You dont chose merits and flaws just to get an advantage in the game. Each PC has a background, and the Merits and Flaws are reflected from that background.
Michelle: Oh. Okay, let me look at the Merits and Flaws list again. (about 20 minutes later)
Michelle: Oh by the way, instead of the discipline Dominate, can I have Chemistry.
Me: Thats CHI-mestry and no you can't.
Michelle: Awwww, youre so mean!
Me: Well Im sorry, but I have to consider game balance and
Michelle: Relax Marc! God! Im only teasing you.
Me: Hmph. I bet you tease all your boyfriends.
Michelle: Excuse me!?
Me: Im only teasing.
Michelle: Well I didnt appreciate that!
Me: Soooo its okay for you to tease me but its NOT okay for me to tease you?
(Many minutes and numerous apologies from me later)
Michelle: Alright then, instead of Unbondable, Im going to take the merit Common Sense, because my character was raised by a strict Roman Catholic Irish family who whipped a lot of common sense into me.
Me: Okay(I look at the character sheet again). I am assuming that since you were raised in a Roman Catholic household, you are probably Roman Catholic yourself.
Michelle: Actually, my character is Wiccan, just like I am, but my parents are Roman Catholic.
Me: That makes no sense.
Michelle: Sure it does! My real life parents are Irish Roman Catholic, but I myself am Wiccan
Me: First of all, the game is set in 1695, I doubt any parent at that time would let their daughter practice Wiccan. Second of all, arent your real parents Scottish?
Michelle: Well yeah, but I have Celtic roots.
Me: (shaking head) Okay, whatever, but given the circumstance I dont think your character is a Wiccan with 5 levels of occult knowledge. I mean think about it, if your parents found out about your interest in things that are ungodly they would most likely beat you or send you to a convent. I mean, I have to be realistic given the time frame that the story is set in.
Michelle: Aha, but my parents dont find out, because like I said, I am sneaky! Remember?
Me: Well, okay, lets just say for the sake of argument that your parents dont find out and that you are Wiccan, I still dont think your character would have 5 levels of occult knowledge.
Michelle: Alright, Ill reduce it.
Me: Dont worry, you could always buy up Occult knowledge through game play.
Michelle: Okay, maybe I'll do that. What should I name my character?
Me: Oh youre on your own there. Players are supposed to choose an appropriate name for their character.
Michelle: Okay, Ill think up of a name by the game. Ill see you then.
(Game time!)
Me: So Michelle, did you think up of a name for your character?
Michelle: Oh yeah! Listen to this! My characters name is Elizabetta Di Fenza. Cool huh?
(pause)
Me: That sounds kinda Italian-ish.
Michelle: Oh yeah, instead of making her Irish, I changed her into an Italian. I hope you dont mind.
Me: At this point in time, no. So are we all ready to play?
(Players gather around. I let Michelle just watch and listen for a few minutes to bring her into the swing of things)
Me: Michelle, your character is being introduced to the other players for the first time. Would you mind describing to the others what your character looks like?
Michelle: I have 5 dots in Appearance.
Me: Uh, no Michelle. I mean DESCRIBE what your character looks like. You know, how she is dressed, what color is her hair, etc
Michelle: Oh! Hee hee! Okay, well(giggle)urm, my character is a female, obviously hee hee, but not just any female(giggle)she is the most gorgeous thing you have ever seen hee hee hee.She has luscious locks of dark hair.(giggle)and a petite form. All of you just want to hold her and tell her your deepest darkest secret hee hee hee hee because she is just SOOO gorgeous Did I mention she has 5 in appearance?
Me: Oooookay, thanks Michelle. Well, lets do some RPing now.
Gangrel PC: I was told you are Tremere. Is this true?
Michelle: Yes.
Gangrel PC: I dont like Tremeres.
Michelle: I dont think your character would say that
Gangrel PC: Excuse me?
Michelle: Yeah, because my character has 5 dots in Appearance and you WANT to trust her because she is sooo beautiful.
Gangrel PC: I don't give a shit what your appearance is, my character has had several run ins with the Tremere and I don't like em.
Michelle: But I have 5 dots in Appearance
Me: Okay, MichelleThe PCs here see that you are very beautiful, but they have been dead for a long time. Unless you have the power of Presence, its unlikely that you will arouse any feeling of longing in them.
Michelle: But the book says that my appearance is better than most super-models. I mean its not everyday you meet someone like that.
Me: Evidently.
Michelle: So I dont understand why everyone is hostile towards me. Its not like I've done anything!
Me: Thats part of Role-playing Michelle. Sometimes the reactions we get from others throw us for a loop and we are forced to act on our feet. You know, its a lot like improvisational acting. The Gangrel here is acting the way his character would act. Now its up to you react accordingly.
Michelle: Okay, since he is being such a brute I curse at him in Italian.
Gangrel PC: My character looks at you, snarls and says What did you say!? I don't speak Latin!
Michelle: It wasnt Latin, I was speaking in Italian.
Gangrel: Whatever, I dont speak Italian either. Now what did you say!? My characters eyes are glowing red.
Me: Can I get a self control roll from both of you please?
Michelle: Me!? Why me? I didn't do anything!
Me: Well you did insult him.
Michelle: But he doesnt know what I said.
Gangrel PC: Exactly, and that frustrates him.
Michelle: This doesnt make any sense.
Me: Youre a vampire, it makes perfect sense. You have an unruly brutish gangrel in your face that is being very rude to you.
Michelle: Okay, whatever. What do I roll?
Me: Self-control at difficulty 5.
Michelle: Where is Self-control? I dont see it on my sheet.
Me: Its right there (pointing to her character section), right underneath Virtues.
Michelle: Oh, got it (rolls dice). I got a 6, a 5 and a flower.
(everyone laughs)
Michelle: Whats so funny?
Me: Oh nothing. Its just that the flower signifies a 1.
Michelle: Well Excuuuuuse me! I didnt know that! God! Do you give such a hard time to all your new players!?
This concludes page one... Of many. If you find it interesting, or want to know how this ends. Visit this page:
http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/michelle/ What you just read was part 1. So just jump to part two on the external page.
Enjoy.
B-
Subject: The Chronicles of Michelle 
Tue Jun 02, 2009 6:55 pm
